Rants and Randoms

Friendships after motherhood

After falling pregnant out-of-wedlock and the impact it had on my life, I was not alone. During my hardest fall and toughest times, my friends were there to help me through it. Thankfully, some are still around.

However, as you grow you learn to accept that friendship doesn’t (and nearly always) last forever. So have some standards and stay true to it.

We all have so much going on, and we are all drowning at the weight of all we need to do. It’s easy for friendships to fade away in a blink of an eye. Before you realise, your bff is suddenly just a memory.

‘If you are not loosing friends you are not growing up’ – unknown

It’s tough but true.

Friends and Motherhood

Men are terrible girlfriends.  That episode of friends when Monica and chandler decides to share everything that’s why it’s not a good idea.

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It’s so nice to have those girlie times. I love a laugh, gossip, pillow fights (just kidding). It’s good for the soul. It can be liberating to talk about our boobs facing south, and how I can flip it over my shoulder to breastfeed when my baby wakes up in the middle of the night. Meeting friends should be a time for good vibes only. A time that we can connect, share our issues, simply just talk without being interrupted! 

Fellow females and dramas

Personally, if it’s no fun then it’s no good. I just don’t have the capacity in my life or mind to deal with drama. Too often, females are so indirect with their issues.  It makes me wonder why we behave like that. Why do we choose not to address the issue, so we can agree to disagree and divorce amicably or stick it out and carry on. It’s so incredibly frustrating when we bottle up our issues, talk about it with somebody else yet expect the offender to be aware???

At this point in my life, if we can’t be open and honest, I don’t have time for it. All my acting skills are put to use when I pretend to love my children’s artwork, and their repetitive funny stories or games. When I’m around adults, it needs to be real and authentic.

Let it out in the open

We are all not perfect. I may be the offender or it may be a friend. Let’s be direct and move on. Once everything is out in the open, we stand a better chance at firmer, healthy and mature friendship.

Our life situations are bound to change, and structures of friendship may shift. It’s life. Let’s face it, we all need friends  people.  There is a need for human connection. Forming a healthy friendship can be one of the most beautiful things.

It is true that loneliness can secretly kill you, but so can bad company. If you become irrelevant to each other than it makes sense to move on and have positive memories, than to hold on and allow bitterness to cloud the good times you shared.

Truly, the most important people in our lives are our children. In my opinion, that’s where we should invest our deepest connection. If you can ruin your bff’s day with simple statements, as you would to your child when you say – brush your teeth, please. Then please break from that friendship. You don’t need that. Only your children deserve that resilience, everyone else can simply f*** off.

Not that I didn’t feel like that before becoming a mum, but now I think it’s definitely true to say that my fuse is too short to tolerate any BS from none other than my  little humans. So I do think friends and those girlie times can have a positive impact on life and motherhood, but at the same time I would rather be alone than around toxic people. It’s counterproductive.




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