Rants and Randoms

When life gets blurry, adjust your focus.

Hello everyone, aloha, eti sen? Ow d body? Ni hao…

It has been a while hasn’t it?! I know I know… I just needed a break. Literally. Keeping up with a one year old should be the reality TV must watch… actually then again, it may just be a show of me taking my favourite pair of heels out of the toilet bowl *sighs* and then sleeping. Repeat.  Seriously, it was all well then my daughter Isabelle found her feet and combining that with a five year old, man, it’s exhausting!

So I have been away a while, and a few updates. I stopped working. Yes. Childcare. If you live in the UK, need I go further? And if you don’t, let’s just say majority of your wages will go to childcare.

Moving on swiftly, if you remember at the beginning of the year I wrote about basically enjoying the little moments? Yeah. Well I found myself loosing that focus. I found myself getting caught up in petty meaningless dramas.

Then unfortunately I lost the most amazing and wonderful aunty in the whole world. She raised me from about the age of 1 till I was 10 years old. She was the ultimate super woman (not exaggerating) – I had an epiphany moment that tomorrow is not promised. And not to dwell on little things that will not be significant in the next 5 or so years.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s inevitable at times to feel that you don’t measure up, and getting that overall overwhelmed feeling that you can’t do anything right? Do you ever feel like that? It’s natural, but when we start to feel wedded to our problems, that’s usually your queue to refocus.

Typically, I like to form a bubble and take a trip down lala land forcing myself to ignore my emotions. I just hate that depressingly familiar phase and feelings of sadness, loneliness, rejection, anxiety, fear… it goes on. So over that years I have built this wall of defence. But I have come to realise that ignoring the issues isn’t usually the best solution, brushing things under the carpet makes a mountain.

Of course, not every situation that arises need a resolution. Don’t reward every situation and every single person your time. It’s up to you to decide what’s really worth your energy. Move on. Bye. See ya. Done. Positive breeds positive1424716003594.

Each to their own, but what I find that helps me is to just take some time out, pause and look at things objectively. Look at it this way, what can I control, and what can’t be controlled? The ones that I can control, I take steps to overcome those challenges. Also talk to your trusted friends *be careful of wolves dressed as sheep*. Personally, I hate getting all emotional around people. It makes me feel vulnerable and… awkward. I put up a front like it’s all good when really it’s not. So if you’re like me then make God your friend. Speak to him (it’s called prayer by the way).  Or even write it all down. Unfiltered and raw. Then get rid of it once you’re calm. It works. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. These make me feel motivated, I feel at peace and darkness begins to fade and I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

And the ones that I can’t control? Well… let go and let God. Prayers can do wonders.

Transform your emotional health and focus on what is truly important. For me it’s my children. It’s my duty to create wonderful, secure childhood memories and environment for them. Anything that will take away or interrupt with that focus must be dealt with.

Ps. To all those that were asking where I’ve gone…   it was temporary.  Ahh, writing again and it feels so right.







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